My beloved husband can in many ways be compared to a male grizzly when it comes to his fearless love for his family. I have no doubt he'd do a great job of protecting us if we were ever in danger, he is big, strong, brave and quick to defend his loved ones. With one hilarious exception. Animals...nearly all of them.
He'd never consider picking up a frog, he shrieks and jumps like a middle school girl when a minnow nibbles his toe and he seriously has to gear himself up for the petting zoo. Add that hilarious trait to the fact that I've had every type of animal you can imagine as a pet - flying squirrels, ducks, ferrets and guinea pigs, along with all of the more typical domestic pets and you have one really funny combo. All of this delights me, I can't tell you the number of times I have laughed to the point of tears at one of his encounters with the animal kind.
Being the selfless father that he is, Troy has attempted to warm up to zoos on behalf of our animal obsessed son. We have an annual membership to the local zoo and we've used it countless times, much to Troy's credit. He knows Jack loves it and so he goes but there are quite a few things that aren't easy for him about the trip.
Such as...this "trouble maker" who "tries to impose his will and shit" and is "all up in Troy's grill every time we go to the zoo." He gets "too personal if you aren't paying attention and would surely attack if the gate wasn't in place." "Oh and he brags too; look at me, I'm so tall, I'm the tallest goat out here." So yeah, they don't get along.
But Jack LOVES him and wants to feed him every time we go to the zoo. Troy grits and bears it with all sorts of fabulous comments and facial expressions.
Troy isn't a huge fan of the little guys either. He is always certain they are going to bite Jack's finger off.
Jack does like to stick his fingers in their mouths and inspect their teeth and tongues while shoving food down their throats. Troy finally couldn't take it anymore and taught him to throw the food at the animals.
Jack loved this new game so Troy was breathing easy and feeling pleased with the lesson he taught his son, "any time you can get a little throwing practice in you should take advantage of it, especially when it means avoiding animals."Papa Bear even had a little bounce in his step which I've never seen at the zoo.
And then we ran into this guy.
and I thought my husband might need a change of pants.It really took everything in him not to take off running through the tiny zoo leaving Jack and I to fend for ourselves. A useless pair we would have been too, i was in tears from laughing at troy and jack was saying "oh big cat! here kitty kitty. i love that lion!"
We left shortly thereafter and did not quickly hear the end of Troy's concerns about the tiny zoo, "that huge animal was behind a CHAIN LENGTH fence. A CHAIN LENGTH fence."
So we made it home safe and sound and Jack and I took naps while Troy regrouped from his traumatic encounter. When we woke up Troy decided he was going to take Jack swimming off the dock.
He got him all geared up...swim diaper, bathing suit, swim coat, crocs, sunscreen...the whole thing.
and the two of them set out ready to enjoy the beautiful afternoon.
I was tagging along in shorts and a t-shirt planning to take some good pictures when I spotted these two fellows.
who I foolishly pointed out to my husband
by the time I took my eyes off of the pretty rays this is what I saw:
No amount of talking about how stingrays aren't aggressive and they wouldn't come near them because they'd be scared would do. He just kept on walking saying something about the crocodile hunter and "no way in hell..."